Play some Doom

Over at xtdos.com they have a massive selection of DOS games available for those nostalgic times in your life! The beauty of xtdos is there playable directly on the website. so check em out. FUCKING DOOM RIGHT HERE!  

Retro City Rampage v1.11a MULTI5-VACE

VACE with an updated build of this funny old school style game.

Description:
This 8-bit nostalgic throwback warps open-world carjacking BACK TO THE… ’80s.
Play 60+ story missions and 40+ arcade challenges. “Borrow” vehicles and outrun the law while mowing down your fellow citizens! Jump on pedestrians for coins, or use them for target practice with over 25 weapons and POWER-UPS! WHOA!

Features:

• An interactive open-world filled with shops, arcades and casino games.
• Over 60 Story Missions – Missions span every genre, from driving and shooting to stealth, rhythm, swimming, questing and more
• Over 40 Arcade Challenges – Quick pick-up-and-play action with leaderboard competition and replay sharing.
• Official Crossovers and Bonus Games – Super Meat Boy, BIT.TRIP: Runner, Epic Meal Time, Minecraft and more.
• Over 50 Vehicles to Drive and Equip – How about a skateboard with a rocket launcher or a shopping cart with nitro?
• Over 25 Weapons and Power-ups – From a bionic arm to a light gun, a boomerang to a “ghost busting” proton beam.
• Playable Characters and Cameos! – Play as characters from other games, as legendary game developers, TV personalities and celebrities.
• Customize your character with one of over 200 styles.
• 2.5+ Hours of Music (13 radio stations) – Critically acclaimed, IGF Nominated soundtrack by virt (Contra 4, Double Dragon: Neon) Freaky DNA (NBA Jam) and Norrin Radd. Available digitally, on CD and Vinyl.
• Video Filters

1. Tube TV/Scanline/Dot-Matrix simulation (& some RED/BLUE 3D games)
2. Color Modes – Make it more system accurate to various platforms from EGA and CGA to the NES, SMS, C64, Apple II and more.
3. Leaderboards & Video Replays

• Lock and load your lightgun. You’ve just entered RETRO CITY RAMPAGE.

Publisher: Vblank
Developer: Vblank Entertainment, Inc.
Genre: Action, Adventure, Indie, Racing
Release name: Retro_City_Rampage_v1.11a_MULTI5-VACE
Size: 19MB in 5F
Links: Homepage – Steam – NFO
Download: NTi – TPB – UPLOADED

All Your Memes Are Belong To Us

Ahhh, Meme's, a term created by Richard Dorkins. Adopted by the internetz. People love to make jokes about games and juxter position gritty imagery with the hilarious. Since the unleashing of "All your base" image boards and blogs have been awash with satirical visual cometary on the world of gaming. Here's a few of my favorites.

Recently a Microsoft employee has has made the statement the new XBOX One dash “with advertising in mind”. With the already prevalent barrage of advertising. Do we relay need to be confronted with forced consumerism wen we turn on you games console? I personally will be staying clear of the new Microsoft offering. Even the turnaround on the security fetchers of the new Xbox are not enough to sway me.

Worst Games of All Time - Goes To The Movies

Sometime things don't quite work out as planed for a game during development. Ether theirs budget cuts layoffs or even personal deputes. there allot of factors that can have an impact on the quality of development on a game. Some games have mistakes others just are mistakes. Unfortunately movie tie in game have a habit of being stunningly shit. rushed out to meet deadlines and sloppy heartless craftsmanship makes movie games some of the worst. Here's a little look at some of the worst games of all time!

Alien- Atari 2600

Ridley Scotts dark brooding 1979 scifi horror masterpiece sent box office sails into the stratosphere. Fans of the movie were chomping at the bit for a chance to play as there new favorite movie heroin Ripley, and experience the horror of Alien for themselves in the comfort of there front rooms. Rushed into production to meat this consumer demand Alien on the 2600 failed to deliver anything of what was asked of it. A half arsed clone of  pack-man, Alien was one of those games that helped set the terrible trend for horrible movie tie in games. Play it here.

 E.T.- Atari 2600

Yeah another 2600 title... It was full of ball achingly bad games! But perhaps the worst of all the aches is E.T. The game came out on the back of record box office sales for the movie. Truly unplayable, uninspiring and not a single jot of effort. Quite possibly the worst of the worst! Play it here.

Catwoman- PC, GC, XBOX, PS2,

Holy smokes batman we have another gash game. To coincide with the cinematic sensory rape that was Catwoman. The game of the same name was equally a dick up the arse of a title. The almost uncontrollable Catwoman was rushed out and churned out at that. It wasn't just controller flaws that held the game back. effortless level design and garbage visuals also help to ruin this game... nothings perfect though!

Jurassic Park: Trespasser - PC 

Its hard to say how much this game sucked. it was terrible to the extent of yet again unplayable. One of the first games to feature 'rag doll physics'. It became quite anticipated, only to be slaughtered by critics and consumers alike. The game revolved around the mechanic of using your mouse as you right arm. The execution of the control system was sloppy and made for a clumsy to the point of spastic gaming experience. This game really should remain extinct!

 

Cracking Gaming Boobs!

Best boobs in computer games!Oh, how we love them! Here's a little run down of some of the most famous polygons and pixels to grace a D cup. enjoy!

A Closer Look At OUYA

With the advent of a new era in gaming approaching us, its easy to get swept away with the thought of the exciting possibility's the new generation of consoles will bring to us. The PS4 and the new not so heartless Xbox One. Look impressive in there stature but a much smaller contender seems fit for battle.

the small form factor console fitted with a Nvidia Tegra 3 chip set, real 2.0 USB, and 1 GiB DDR3 SDRAM. This little monster is likely to pack a punch. Running Android 4.1 with a custom front end for ease of use with a game pad. OUYA looks to good to be true!

The markets are chaining, people are playing games who have never wanted to play before and with the fall of hard media. The ability to have a device that you can get on Facebook Netflix and even rack up a kill count on shadow-gun is all to appealing.

Hopefully this low budget bruiser will be able to rival the marketing might of it competitors and reach its target consumer. That would be everybody with eyes hands and a T.V.

android for gamers!

There’s a lot of selection when it comes to android gaming. From the casual to the hard-core, all aspects seem to be covered. The stunningly well received Angry Birds has opened the casual market as well as other notable games such as doodle jump and fruit ninja bringing light hearted gameplay mechanics to the simple folk. I’m not going to focus on those types of games. I’m going to focus on the games to appeal to the console/Gamer market.

Gameloft seem to be doing fantastically well with mobile gaming  as well as EA taking a cut with the mobile version of dead space and the ever so popular FIFA games. Gameloft still takes the crown with their selection of amazingly detailed FPS games such as NOVA and the rainbow 6 games. Both showing good gameplay and well thought out combat systems.  konami have ventured into the market with their PES series of games (hopefully one day a metal gear!).  and glu have made a few good games such as Gun Bros. these are all fantastic games!

There is also a new wave of MMORPG’s appearing spanning from the pocket legends game. Similar themes to most pc online RPG’s. Expect massive popularity as people grinding levels on their way to work!

Another fantastic reason android is becoming an infamous gaming platform is the bewildering array of emulators to available for you to play games from the spectrum to N64 all beautifully faithful to their stone age oversized counterparts! 

OnLive...Gamers heads in the clouds.

Okay so it was out in the US a while a go, and now it's available in the UK. Assuming you haven't been bombarded with the adverts on YouTube, you won't know what OnLive is. As little is said about the new service. So what is it? It's a gaming network like Xbox Live or Steam where there is access to a store and online gaming, as well as demos. What really sets the service apart is its host of streaming games from their servers, to your webbook. Meaning any game on their service is playable on any machine. a vary enticing offer! As well as it being a greedy publisher’s delight with a 0% chance of piracy, it should fly. Sadly it doesn't. I own a gaming pc and know what good games look like and unfortunately, the de-saturated and pixelated display takes all that excitement away. 

After an easy registration and a good dose of cloud gaming hype I downloaded the OnLive app. After a quick, fuss-free install and a clean log in... all seemed well as I perused though the excellent selection of games in the library. I decided to give Space Marine a try, the demo loaded sharpish and I was directly in the main menu, but as I started playing I encountered some problems. The already sandy hue of the game was exacerbated by the streaming process, the resolution seemed quite low and left a blocky pixelated mess on my HD screen. I tried some other games such as Dirt 3 and Homefront but was left feeling underwhelmed by the display and felt two steps removed from the controls. At this moment in time I'd say Steam offers the better service. That is, until the technology is in place for better resolutions and better controls within OnLive.

emulation high-end fun on low-end computers

Okay, so you have a crappy old computer or low end notebook, you're sick of Farmville and you think your computer's not much good for much more than YouTube and Facebook?

On most counts you're probably wrong! Using a process called emulation it's possible to have a retro buzz! How about some Sonic or some Street Fighter... for free?!

  Here are some easy to understand instructions on how to do just that! To make things easy for now I'll stick to cartridge based machines, but as you know your original copy of Zelda isn’t going to fit in your SD slot... To play your games you're going to need two things; an 'emulator', which is essentially an app used for mimicking the hardware of your favorite old school system. The second thing you will need is a ROM of your favorite game(s). A ROM is a virtual copy of a cartridge. So now you know what you need, this is how you get them. A good point of reference is www.emulatorzone.com they offer the best range of up to date emulators to choose from, organized by console. 

1. you decided upon the epic mega drive and fusion Download the zip or exe file (if file has a weird extension like .rar use a program called WinRAR (www.winrar.com) and then get your emulator!

2. Place the downloaded files in a nice little folder called emulators anywhere you like. Making a folder called 'roms' helps for organizations sake.

 

3. Now you need to get your games or 'roms'. I'm a big fan of www.emuparadice.com

for the sake of my example I'll download Earthworm Jim for the genesis/ mega drive.

 4. Now you have the ROM, place it in your ROM folder. Next, open up the emulator and press file-> open-> now go to were you stored your ROM. Double click and you're ready to go! ... Nearly.

 5. It's a good idea to have a little click about and familiarize yourself with the options within the emulator. You can set your own keys and if you have a USB gamepad like that of the PS3 or 360 they're easy to set up as your main controller (usually via an option menu).

Now you're all set! Hopefully my introduction to emulation got you going. if my really bad screen shots and steps dont help here is a "little watch me do it"

There's a lot of really nerdy things to play with and happy gaming memories to live over... highest score on pac-man gets after me!